At our first Flower Girls Meet gathering for postpartum mamas, we began with a simple icebreaker to help everyone settle into the space. We invited each mother to reflect on two questions: What’s one lesson postpartum has taught you about yourself? And what’s one thing you need support with?
Their responses were honest, thoughtful, and a reminder that while motherhood teaches us so much about ourselves, we still need support along the way.
What Postpartum Is Teaching Us
Here are some of the lessons the mothers shared:
- “I’ve learned I’m stronger than I realize.”
- “I’ve learned that everything will be okay. when overwhelmed, taking a deep breath really helps.”
- “I learned that sadness shows armor. Show it early. This builds connection. Give yourself and your child a language for what closeness with them feels like.”
- “Postpartum has taught me to find the silver lining in that tough phases have an ending.”
- “Postpartum taught me that perfection doesn’t exist, nor is it the goal.”
- “Postpartum taught me patience and to have flexibility. The plan doesn’t always go as planned, and that’s okay.”
What these reflections reveal: Postpartum is a season of learning and unlearning. Mothers are discovering their strength, practicing patience, making peace with imperfection, and learning to acknowledge their emotions rather than hide them. But recognizing our own resilience doesn’t mean we should have to do everything alone.
What Mothers Still Need Support With
When we asked what support looked like, the answers were just as revealing:
- “I need help getting my baby to detach from me.”
- “I need support with making meals and eating enough calories to breastfeed.”
- “I need support with my time, so I can protect the time I spend with my first child.”
- “During my postpartum, I could have used support in others seeing me in my struggle, despite my professional background.”
- “Something I need support with is the creeping irrational thoughts. Someone to level set and tell me everything will be okay.”
What these reflections reveal: Support isn’t always about grand gestures. Sometimes it’s a prepared meal, time to spend with another child, reassurance during an anxious moment, or simply having someone recognize that you’re struggling. And sometimes the mothers who appear to have everything figured out are the ones who need someone to check on them too.
A Reminder About Motherhood
What stayed with us from this exercise was how much mothers are learning about themselves while simultaneously navigating needs that often go unseen. Strength and support aren’t opposites. We can be capable, resilient, and deeply grateful for motherhood while still needing care ourselves. Perhaps that’s one of the most important conversations we can continue having about postpartum: not just what mothers are capable of, but what they deserve to receive.